The Centre for Ageing Better have released their State of Ageing Spotlight.
This State of Ageing Spotlight addresses the invisibility of older LGBTQ+ people in data and discussions about our ageing population.
The number and percentage of older LGB+ people in England has increased significantly over the last ten years, and numbers of older LGBTQ+ people are set to increase further.
Many older LGBTQ+ people have played a vital role in social justice movements, yet they often remain overlooked in policy and practice as they age.
This spotlight examines the inequalities they can face in later life – across housing, work, finances, health, care and community connections – indicates how these experiences are shaped by decades of discrimination, and sets out recommendations for policy and practice.
Download State of Ageing Spotlight: Older LGBTQ+ peoplehere.
Eric vs The Beaver – World Premiere – Free
Wednesday, 16 September – 7.30pm – 9.30pm (including an interval), and
Friday, 18 September – 7.30pm – 9.30pm (including an interval)
53two, Arch 19, Watson Street, Manchester M3 4LP
We have tickets for this new play (a world premiere) – a farce.
When Eric loses his job (again), he’s thrilled when he lands on the perfect new role for himself – one that makes use of his skills and will be sure to leave him with many satisfied customers. He’ll be a sex worker!
Less thrilled, however, is his boyfriend …
What happens when two men with above-average anxiety levels try to mould themselves to fit the image of the ‘enlightened’ queer couple able to open their relationship with joy, pride and not an ounce of jealousy.
If interested, please contact us here, and indicate which date.
Queer Up North 🏳️🌈 Road to launch
The countdown is on! As we near the launch of the Queer Up North digital archive, join us for a programme of talks, performances, and screenings celebrating Queer Up North past, present, and future. Explore the full series below:
Generations of Love – Book here / Causing Trouble – Book here
Queered Up Now – Book here / Launch Party – Book here
PROTEST! – Unfinished Business – Friday, 25 September – 1.00pm – 4.30pm – People’s History Museum – FREE!
Section 28 may be gone but its story isn’t finished.
Section 28 was repealed. But legislation doesn’t simply disappear. Its traces remain in institutions, in bodies, in memories, in language, in culture, in education, in activism, and in the ways LGBTQIA+ communities continue to organise, resist and make space. What did it change? What did it leave behind? And what does its legacy mean for LGBTQIA+ communities now?
As the final event in IAP:MCR’s PROTEST! project, Unfinished Business will bring together artists, activists, academics, creative practitioners, makers, thinkers, writers and others to congregate, share ideas, ask questions, debate and explore the legacies of Section 28, and to ask what its unfinished business might be today.
The event is free, but booking is recommended tickets obtainable here.
Further information and a call out for contributions can be found here.
Sherpa-K: Assemble with Pride – Friday, 25 September – 7.30pm – 9.30pm – People’s History Museum – half price ticket offer
Celebrate the end of the project in the historic Engine Hall – with music provided by Sherpa-K.
A vibrant musical evening with Manchester-based queer five-piece multi-instrumentalist art-folk combo. Join the band for a performance of original songs and much-loved favourites about pride, protest and love.
Throughout the evening:
Explore Re/Assemble, our exhibition responding to the legacy of Section 28 through themes of protest, resilience, and queer creativity.
Discover banners on display from PHM’s collection that capture moments of protest, solidarity, and community in the ongoing fight for LGBTQIA+ equality in Gallery Two.
Special Offer: Tickets half price if you quote PROJECT50 when booking your tickets here.
What is gender? How have ideas about it changed over time? How does it shape our day-to-day lives? These questions and more are explored in an exhibition co-created by National Museums Liverpool.
Gender Stories traces the spectrum of genders and their expression across time and place, examining how gender intersects with our sex, class, sexuality and heritage to shape who we are.
The exhibition features paintings, photography, film and personal objects spanning centuries
Gender Stories, a major exhibition about identity and self-expression, brings together artwork from Grayson Perry, David Hockney, James Tissot, and Antonia Showering, photography by Catherine Opie and Zanele Muholi, new film by Ebun Sodipo and Ree Bradley, and personal objects from a Suffragette teapot to a Liverpool LGBTQ+ football scarf.
The exhibition covers centuries of history through oil paintings, etchings, ceramics, textiles, sculpture and video. Historical works include a watercolour by Sarah Biffin, a celebrated miniaturist who was born without arms and painted using her mouth. Biffin won a medal from the Society of Arts, took commissions from the Royal Family, and spent her final years in Liverpool, where she is buried in St James’s Cemetery.
Charlotte Keenan, Head of Walker Art Gallery, said:
“Everyone has a lived experience of gender, and this exhibition creates space for visitors to reflect on their own while hearing from others. Working with communities across Liverpool has been central to bringing Gender Stories to the Walker, and we hope it will be a place for honest conversation and genuine connection.”
Someone who is emotionally, sexually or romantically attracted to more than one gender
Biohacking
A broad term that describes the practice of using science and technology to adjust physical and mental health. Within the trans community, it relates more specifically to ‘do-it-yourself’ approaches to hormone therapy and biological transition, usually to overcome medical gatekeeping
Cisgender / cis
Used to describe someone whose gender identity corresponds to their birth sex
Drag
The act of performing another gender, sometimes theatrically for entertainment. Drag kings impersonate men. Drag queens impersonate women
Genderfluid
A non-binary gender identity that is not fixed but changes over time
Gender binary
The artificial division of gender into just two distinct, opposing options: male or female / masculine or feminine
Gender expression
How a person presents themselves (for example, their clothes, hairstyle or behaviour)
Gender identity
How a person understands themselves (for example, a man, a woman, both, neither etc.)
Gender neutral
A term to describe things that are genderless and are for all genders. For example, gender neutral bathrooms can be used by anyone. The term is also used by some to describe their gender identity
Genderqueer
A non-binary gender identity that combines or moves between the binary genders, sometimes to directly challenge conventional ideas about gender
Gender roles
The social expectations for a person based on their gender, including their role in the home and family, jobs they are considered for, and how they should behave
Intersex
An umbrella term for people whose biology, including their bodies, hormones and/or chromosomes, do not match the typical definitions for male or female bodies. Intersex people may be any gender
LGBTQ+
An acronym that represents the main groups within the overall gay and transgender communities, including Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Queer people. The plus represents those who gender identity and/or sexuality is not represented by these categories
Non-binary
A broad term that can be used to describe any gender identity that is not one of the two binary genders (male and female)
Patriarchy
A system of society in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it
Queer
Once a term of abuse against the LGBTQ+ community, the word has been reclaimed by the community and is increasingly used as an alternative umbrella term to LGBTQ+. For some people, ‘queer’ specifically refers to those whose identities lie beyond traditional categories or sexuality and/or gender identity
Sexuality
Our physical, romantic and emotional attachment to others, e.g. straight or heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual and asexual, among others. Sexuality is different to gender identity
Sex
Assigned to a person on the basis of their primary sex characteristics, particularly their genitalia and reproductive functions. Sometimes the terms ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ are interchanged but they are different things
Trans
An umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth
Lived Experience Narratives in Dementia (LEND)
We have been contacted by a research assistant at the University of Nottingham, regarding their research programme.
The “LEND” programme – Lived Experience Narratives in Dementia is catered to help those living with dementia, or unpaid carers of someone with dementia.
They are aiming to create a digital tool that shares people’s dementia stories that can foster empowerment, maintain identity and help people navigate the difficulties that come with a diagnosis or supporting a loved one. Currently, limited resources exist online for people of this community who are from underserved demographics, notably those from ethnic minorities and particularly individuals who identify as LGBTQIA+.
In the design, it is imperative to platform LGBTQIA+ voices to raise the accessibility and visibility of relatable stories that, in the current climate, are few and far between compared to the cisgender and heteronormative landscape of dementia exposure online. Highlighting these experiences is essential to bridge this research and care gap, which is why they host diverse Lived Experience Advisory Panel meetings so that the invaluable insight of real lived experience directly informs the study’s design and eventual outcome.
They would love to be able to share the voices of our community, and extend the invitation to sharing a story or lived experience of dementia.
They welcome stories from:
People living with any type of dementia who identify as LGBTQIA+, transgender, or non-binary.
Partners, family members, friends and other supporters.
People from all ages, cultures and ethnic backgrounds.
Every story matters. Whether it describes challenges, hope, resilience, relationships or everyday life, each narrative has the potential to help someone else feel recognised and understood.
We have tickets for this new play – a comedy drama about death, grief and coming out in later life (believe it or not it is actually a comedy!)
Trapped in a departure lounge thanks to a delayed plane, George and Lynda Sumner debate the meaning of life, the common bluebottle, sex tapes and the pros and cons of a KFC … but it soon becomes clear that Lynda’s journey is one way and that George has been hiding a painful secret for all of their married life …
Will George find the strength to support his wife to end her journey? Can Lynda help him to begin his own? Or will a series of emotional revelations divert both their plans?
Manchester Pride is held in August because the very first organised celebration took place over the August Bank Holiday weekend in 1985. That founding event in the Gay Village was a success, and the tradition stayed on that late-summer holiday ever since.
Out In The City held a Pride Party with a Polari quiz, great entertainment, a buffet and raffle.
Joe Cockx performed two sets of big band era music. We were treated to Frank Sinatra, Perry Como and Engelbert Humperdink and lots more. We all enjoyed due to Joe’s knowledge and enthusiasm for this era of music.
Thanks to all who helped out on the day.
Cast of Grindr: The Opera! with Out In The City members
Grindr: The Opera!
Last Saturday, ten of us from Out In The City went to the theatre 53two to watch Grindr: The Opera!
This musical parody took us on a hilarious and thought-provoking journey through the world of gay dating, with catchy songs, witty dialogue and colourful characters
This unique and ground-breaking production explores the impact of technology on human connection and the search for meaningful relationships.
Through the experiences of four gay men who use Grindr to connect with each other, Grindr: The Opera! offers a satirical commentary on modern gay culture.
Devon the romantic, Tom the cynic, Jack the twink and Don the daddy meet via the medium of the Grindr app, each seeking a different type of connection.
We laughed and cried at the infectious energy, dynamic performances, and unforgettable characters. This production left us feeling inspired and entertained.
Online Sessions to Explore HIV, Self Stigma and Health
With Terrence Higgins Trust, Reverend Jide Macaulay will be leading a weekly peer support webinar for Christians living with HIV across the UK.
Starting Thursday, 27 August, 6.00pm – 7.30pm, we will come together for a safe, confidential and supportive space to share experiences, faith, questions and encouragement.
If you are a Christian living with HIV in the UK, you are warmly invited to join us.
Register to receive the joining information. Please email: livingwell@tht.org.uk
Invitation from Manchester Jewish Museum
Dear Out In The City Members,
It was lovely to see so many of you in the heat wave and thank you so much for braving the extreme heat to come and see Through a Queer Lens. I am delighted that Out In The City has such good representation in our LGBTQ+ temporary exhibition, which has attracted quite a few new visitors who would not normally come and visit Manchester Jewish Museum. We have also had great feedback from some of those visitors about having representation in our galleries for LGBTQ+ people, which has been appreciated. We have extended the opening of the exhibition until 11 October now and we see these displays as the foundation for future collecting and sharing of LGBTQ+ Jewish experiences.
We are delighted to announce that Your Manchester came to film one of our Exhibition contributors, Norman Goodman, recently – you can watch the brilliant broadcast here.
We would also like to invite you to our LGBTQ+ conversation event based on Queer Lens Exhibition on Sunday, 6 September.
Please see the invite attached and sign up using the booking link below at the bottom of this email.
Queer Lens on MJM Collections Event – Sunday 6 September (3.30pm – 6.00pm) at Manchester Jewish Museum.
Hosted by Sue Shave, Interim CEO and Isaac Sinclair, Creative Producer, Manchester Jewish Museum
Aimed at: Manchester LGBTQ+ audiences ( LGBTQ+ people identifying as Jewish and non-Jewish welcome)
Purpose of event:
To share current stories in the exhibition and encourage LGBTQ+ Jewish participants to donate their stories and content for Museum collections
To get feedback about Queer Lens from a wide range of LGBTQ+ people both Jewish and non-Jewish and to identify what LGBTQ+ people think is missing from current displays and in our collections.
15.30 – 16.30: Learning Studio. Sue Shave will ask current exhibition contributors to speak for 5 minutes about why they wanted to take part with a chance for other LGBTQ+ attendees to share their story if they would like to do so as well.
16.45 – 17.45: Museum galleries. Two conversation groups of 30 minutes each with one group exploring impact and conversations from the current Queer Lens exhibition and the other group exploring selected LGBTBQ+ objects from the collections and what is missing from the collections for future representation of LGBTQ+ Jewish life.
If you identify as LGBTQ+ (Jewish and non-Jewish) and would like to attend this event, please book a place using this link.
Places will be allocated on a first come, first served basis. There will be light refreshments for participants during the story sharing session.
Best wishes and look forward to welcoming you to our event.
Smithsonian Starstruck: An Immersive Experience is a 3D interactive, virtual reality experience that begins at Earth’s observatories.
Thirty five of us took the trip, launched into the universe aboard the world’s most powerful space telescopes, in small groups of five or six.
The Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory collaborated with the project so that we could witness the life of stars in detail and translate real astronomical data into a journey through space. With the cosmos all around us, we took a breathtaking journey through the universe. It was an awe-inspiring adventure.
Your Manchester
In this episode of Your Manchester, Belinda and Mark visit Manchester Jewish Museum to explore the powerful new exhibition Through a Queer Lens, recently extended from September to 11 October.
They meet Norman Goodman and one of the creatives behind the exhibition to discover the stories, experiences and perspectives that celebrate LGBTQ+ Jewish life here in Manchester.
First exhibited in 2016, Through a Queer Lens emerged from a unique collaboration between Black queer photographer Ajamu and PhD researcher and heritage practitioner Noam-Shaan Knan. Building on the landmark Rainbow Jews project, the exhibition documents and celebrates the richness, diversity and resilience of queer Jewish communities across the UK.
For its presentation at Manchester Jewish Museum, the exhibition has been expanded through a local Manchester lens, bringing new stories of LGBTQ+ Jewish people with connections to the city and inviting visitors to contribute their own experiences and perspectives.
A particularly important part of the exhibition looks at the LGBTQ+ stories that are currently missing from museum collections – and asks how we can work together to make sure those voices are represented.
Join Belinda and Mark as they discover more about this fascinating exhibition, the people behind it, and the importance of preserving and sharing LGBTQ+ Jewish history in Manchester.
Watch the video here:
101-Year-Old Goes Viral at Pride, Shares Simple Tips for a Long Life: ‘Be Yourself’
Robert Clement’s appearance at the West Hollywood Pride Parade has been watched millions of times online, but the centenarian’s life story is even more remarkable.
At 101 years old, Robert Clement was the centre of attention at the West Hollywood Pride Parade in California.
A video clip of him holding a colourful sign at the event in early June went viral, garnering 3 million views on Instagram.
Large groups of people would leave the parade, come over and embrace him, the centenarian recalls, calling the crowd “very welcoming”.
“The warmth of people in that parade going by and coming over and hugging or kissing or being polite to me was marvellous and overwhelming,” Clement said.
“It’s a very strong pleasure. I go there and people are very nice to me”.
Clement with the sign that made him go viral at West Hollywood Pride 2026. Courtesy Roy Fisher
But many of his fans may not know his full life story.
“This is just the latest chapter in the long history of Robert’s insistence that all people deserve love and respect,” Roy Fisher stated.
Fisher, an assistant professor in the department of theological studies at Loyola Marymount University, is creating an archive to memorialise Clement’s legacy, calling him “a pioneer of the gay liberation movement in New York City during the 1970s and 1980s”.
Clement was born on 12 March 1925, in Pennsylvania. He was serving as a Catholic priest when he decided to pursue a more inclusive ministry in 1968 and founded the independent American Catholic Church – dedicated to the full inclusion of LGBTQ people in the sacramental and spiritual life of the Church, Fisher says.
As an openly gay priest, Clement marched in the Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade in 1970, considered to be New York City’s first Pride March.
Clement as a young priest. He later established New York City’s first openly gay sacramental church. Courtesy Robert Clement
That same year, he established the Church of the Beloved Disciple – widely recognized as New York City’s first openly gay sacramental church – and officiated ceremonies he called Holy Unions for LGBTQ couples, Fisher says.
“Long before inclusion was widely accepted – or even considered possible – Robert created a welcoming, safe and affirming spiritual home in New York City where LGBTQ people could worship, celebrate the sacraments and live out their faith free from shame or condemnation,” he notes.
Clement now lives with his husband in an apartment in Triangle Square, a retirement community for LGBTQ older adults, operated by the Los Angeles LGBT Centre. He’s still an activist at 101, his friends say.
Here are Clement’s simple tips for a long life:
Be Yourself
When you accept yourself, it’s liberating and freeing.
“Be self-aware and live accordingly, and live therefore very open, proudly as whomever you are, whatever your life may be,” he notes.
“Through that, it gives a kind of universal happiness. It’s a pleasure of being alive and enjoying life.”
Clement has a long history of activism for LGBTQ people. Courtesy Robert Clement
Love Deeply
Clement spent more than 40 years with his life partner, John Noble Darcy. They were joined in a Holy Union on 18 July 1971.
Clement at his first Holy Union. Courtesy Robert Clement
After Darcy’s death, Clement married David Epstein on 22 December 2019. He calls both the loves of his life.
“Because Bob was one of the pioneers of same-sex marriage and was among the first priests or ministers to marry any same sex-couples in the world back in New York City, I really felt that Bob has blessed so many people and that Bob should be able to be married in his life, too,” Epstein said.
“We’ve been joined at the hip for 20 years, and just said, you know what, we’re going to have a marriage also.”
Have Faith
Religion has been a constant in Clement’s life, a factor that researchers say can boost longevity.
Engaging in prayer, meditation and other spiritual practices may help reduce stress and promote relaxation, studies have found.
Spiritual practices usually mean being part of a community or religious group, which can provide strong social support. Believing in a higher power can offer comfort, hope and inner peace while helping people deal with trauma or loss.
Faith can also offer meaning and purpose in life, which is linked with decreased mortality.
Eat Healthy Food
Clement follows a pescatarian diet, which is a vegetarian eating plan that incorporates seafood. Dietitians call it one of the best diets for overall health. It’s also particularly healthy for the heart when combined with the Mediterranean diet, studies have found.
He eats vegetables and fish, plus dairy and eggs, but avoids red meat. “It’s one less poor animal killed,” he recalls thinking as a young man. “I was not enamoured of meat.”
The inclusion of fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids supports heart health, reduces inflammation and promotes brain function, dietitians say. The plant-based part of his diet delivers lots of fibre, vitamins and other nutrients for good health.
Clement no longer drinks alcohol.
Clement on his 101st birthday. Courtesy Roy Fisher
Treat Yourself Once in a While
“I’m a sucker for sweets,” Clement says.
One of his favourite desserts is vanilla ice cream with sliced and mashed strawberries.
Genes Aren’t Everything
Longevity doesn’t run in Clement’s family, other than one of his great-grandmothers who lived to be 98. His parents lived into their 70s.
When asked what has helped him live so long, Clement is stumped. “I honestly don’t know. I just lived, and I’ve kept on living for this extra length of time, and you just live into it. There you are,” he says. “I feel very healthy, very normal.”
Thursday, 15 October – 8.00pm – The Luxurious Time: A Queer Love Story
Waterside Arts Centre, 1 Waterside Plaza, Sale, Trafford M33 7ZF
The Luxurious Time – A Queer Love Story is a true story that recounts the author’s life with his partner, as the man he loves succumbs to Alzheimer’s disease, posing the question: when dementia strikes can love survive?
The play follows the insidious progression of the disease and its consequences, and the difficult decisions that must be made about his partner’s future. It gives a unique perspective about the impact of dementia on a long-term gay relationship with the distinctive and very moving inclusion of verbatim dialogue from both parties. At times upsetting, sometimes funny, it’s a very human story that resonates with everyone on many levels, and a queer call to action in the fight against dementia.
Stormé and Diana: The Love Story (Almost) Lost to History
The following is the account of Christy Henderson Jenkins as told to Faith Reidenbach, over a number of interviews. It’s a long read, but I found it very moving.
Diana the aerialist. Courtesy of Christy Henderson Jenkins.
If you’re queer and online, you’ve likely heard of Stormé DeLarverie. Some people know her as the “male impersonator” who emceed the Jewel Box Revue, a racially integrated US drag show, from 1955 to 1969. Some recall her role as protector of queer bars in Greenwich Village. Many claim she played a key role in the Stonewall Rebellion. But I knew Stormé as my gay father, and I knew her partner, Diana, as my gay mother. This is the story of my time with two Black lesbians whose deep devotion to each other changed so many lives, including mine.
Mom and Dad enjoyed sitting me down to hear their love stories. They met in 1943 at Smalls’ Paradise, a 24-hour nightclub in Harlem. It was one of the first clubs owned by an African American to have a mixed Black and white clientele. Most of the white patrons were rich Mafia businessmen. Smalls’ was basically a straight club, but drag queens could perform there. Diana was a showgirl and excellent tap dancer, and she led a troupe of Black dancers, the Diana Dancers, who travelled around to different New York clubs. Diana was her show name; her birth name was Debbie. She was a beautiful light brown woman with shoulder-length hair, slim and very athletically built. She was mixed-race, and today she might call herself Afro-Latina, but she identified then as African American. Stormé moved in with her soon after they met, and they lived together until Diana died 26 years later.
***
Diana had been a trapeze artist for the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey’s Circus, which travelled regularly to Madison Square Garden. She grew up in New York. In high school, she was very much into gymnastics. She liked doing dangerous things. She also ran track and even played basketball, and she had wanted to be a professional athlete. She was fascinated with the trapeze, and she mastered it. She even performed at the New York World’s Fair in 1939 – 1940. She was a few years older than Stormé.
When Stormé came to New York in the early 1940s, she performed briefly at the Cotton Club, since she was light-skinned enough for them. They tried to make her into a second Lena Horne. She already loved one of Lena’s signature songs, “Stormy Weather,” and in her earliest days of singing professionally she called herself Stormy Dale. When she moved on to Smalls’, she kept singing as a woman, but that wasn’t what she really wanted. Inspired by the drag queens, Stormé decided to start singing as a man.
Diana supported the idea, and she bought Stormé’s first suit. Stormé could never have become such an iconic entertainer and community protector without Diana letting her be free. Stormé was nervous about being turned away from Smalls’, but audiences liked her act. She especially loved doing Billy Eckstein. Smalls’ was the place to be discovered, and Stormé was the only drag king there. She’d escort the drag queens out onto the stage, and that caught the eye of a Jewel Box Revue owner who was there scouting queens.
***
I ran away to New York at age 15 and met Stormé in 1967 when I was 18 and joined the Jewel Box as a female impersonator. Now, let me be very clear. Stormé did not like to be identified as a transgender man. It made him angry, even though he was polite about it. Stormé was a stone butch gay woman. But he loved trans women; he accepted everyone. He became my father for several reasons. Both he and my biological father were born in 1920, and they looked a little alike, both of them light-skinned with thin mustaches (fake, in Stormé’s case). I bonded with Stormé instantly.
I came to feel that African Americans in the Jewel Box were slighted. Even though it was an integrated show, they played favourites. Sometimes I was supposed to go on, but they’d put a white person on before me. When I complained to Daddy, he would always stand up for me. But after over six months of this, I became dissatisfied with the job itself. I’m a singer, and most drag queens in the Jewel Box did their own singing. But I felt awkward impersonating women when I am a woman. Daddy advised me: “Chris, this ain’t for you. Why don’t you go perform as the girl you want to be.”
Daddy and Mommy and I remained close, thank God, after I left the show. I even stayed with them for a minute in their apartment, which was around 125th Street and St Nicholas Avenue. They kept a rollaway bed available for anyone they could help. We would sit around playing the radio or just sing on most days. Mommy and Daddy often asked me to sing “Let It Be Me,” which has the first line “I bless the day I found you.” I’d start it off and they’d join in. Mommy wasn’t a professional singer, but she could carry a tune. When they had friends over, it was mainly fellow musicians and, again, we’d all sit around singing.
Mommy and Daddy worked a lot of hours, but they took time for relaxation. Daddy would sketch, he was good at drawing. He loved to read and he loved to write love poems to Mommy. He called her “my sweet little rose” (in writing and in conversation, too). He also wrote music. Mommy got a piano that her church was giving away, and Daddy could play a little. Mommy liked to sew clothes for their dog – she had sewn her own trapeze costumes – and she made some clothes for me, too.
Debbie on the rollaway bed with beloved pet dog. Original held in the Photographs and Prints Division at Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, The New York Public Library.
Sometimes the three of us would go out to the Lenox Lounge or a Black gay club like Andre’s. We more or less stuck to Harlem. One night, the three of us tried to go to a white gay party in the Village, and we had the door slammed in our faces. Of course, even in the 1960s, hardly anyone was using the word “gay” or “lesbian,” especially in the African-American culture. Daddy and Mommy would say they were “different.” Being gay was nothing to broadcast. That didn’t come about until way later on. Even though people knew where you were, you didn’t say it, because you could get gay-bashed or killed.
Mommy was what we call today “on the down low.” She worried about her family not accepting her, and she was afraid she might not get entertainment work in straight settings. When they were in public, Mommy and Daddy would just say they were friends. When Daddy had to go out to a straight place with Mommy, he’d dress as Viva – that was his birth name – and they’d be two beautiful women together. He had a woman’s wig, and I’d style it for him. He only cross-dressed when he could feel comfortable, in the right environments. I think Mommy actually preferred him to look like a man when they went out, because things were easier if they appeared to be a straight couple.
Sometimes they were hassled, though, because from a distance they looked like a white man with a woman of colour. Daddy wasn’t proud of his light skin; in fact, he was ashamed. His white father had rejected him, and he resented him for it. He refused to accept himself as half white. He told me various stories about his life; he was always all over in his stories. “Chris, you know your Daddy Vee likes to exaggerate,” Mommy would tell me with a smile. Or she’d say impatiently, “Daddy, stop that stuff, you know that ain’t right.”
Stormé the performer. Nancy Terry photograph album, circa 1954 – 1972. MS Thr 2083, seq. 63. Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Mass.
I looked to Mommy for the facts about Daddy’s early life. What she confirmed was that Daddy’s father was extremely wealthy and in the wine business in New Orleans. Daddy’s mother was his maid, and Daddy’s father didn’t provide any financial support. Daddy’s mother had children by a Black man, and Daddy was passed around to various foster families. Daddy told me one of them was a French Creole family named the Delavieres. I don’t know whether Daddy’s parents’ relationship was consensual. Mommy also confirmed that little Viva was eventually sent to a light-skinned, up-class Black family in Nebraska and, after her mother died, they adopted her. Their name was the Hublitzes.
***
When Daddy met Mommy, he was living from pillar to post. Throughout their lives together, Mommy was definitely the breadwinner. I don’t know what Daddy made at the Jewel Box, but it wasn’t all that much. In addition to getting dancing jobs, Mommy worked as a bar waitress. And from early in their relationship, she and Daddy had a cleaning and maintenance business, working mainly in white people’s homes. They’d drive in Mommy’s old Studebaker. Daddy could fix anything, he was a good handyman. Once, I went with them to clean, but I was not for that. They laughed at me indulgently. “Miss Priss,” Daddy teased. “Child, go sit down somewhere,” Mommy said.
They also took catering jobs they got through the cleaning business. Daddy was a good cook, but he couldn’t get down like Mommy did. She used to fix Daddy baked turkey legs and dressing, those kinds of meals. Being from Louisiana, gumbo was his greatest favourite, and he loved how Mommy made it. I’m allergic to seafood, so she would make me a whole different dish. They went out of their way to treat me as if they were my parents.
Diana would help me put my lashes and makeup on, and we’d press and curl each other’s hair. Sometimes, she would tell me, “Girl, that skirt is too short.” She was a mom! But she dressed sharp and kind of sexy herself, she was quite a fashionable woman. Daddy loved to shop for her.
Although Mommy was always gentle with me, she could lay the law down with Daddy. She was a little bossy, and Daddy liked it, believe me. Anything that would please Mommy, Daddy did it. He brought her a gift every single night when the Jewel Box was at the Apollo or another New York theatre. He came home very late, because he was in charge of everything: He sang the opening number, he made sure all the entertainers had their costumes right, he sang the closing number, and he’d clean the place up. Then he’d hurry home to be with Mommy. Sometimes, Mommy helped him clean as part of their business. But she didn’t like to see him perform for some reason. She’d laugh it off and joke that she didn’t like seeing him with all those girls around him.
***
Mommy was a very private person, she wasn’t as open with me as Daddy was. But she talked to me about discrimination. I believe she could have been a famous trapeze artist if given the real opportunity she deserved. They would put her on last or they wouldn’t let her go on at all. In white establishments, she’d have to use a separate, inferior dressing room, including one that was rat-infested. She cried when she told me about it. She always felt she had to prove herself and felt very pressured. It made her a civil rights person, same as my biological mother, who told me similar stories.
When I was 13, the NAACP in our town in Arizona invited Dr King to come speak about integrating the schools. My mother and I sang his favourite song for him, “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.” Afterward, my mom asked Dr King in my presence, “Why does my son want to be a girl?” He said, “Sister Viola, you are a praying woman. Whatever God intends for that child to be, you pray for that child and love that child.” It was one of the highlights of my life. I told that story to Daddy and Mommy, because Mommy was a little bit religious and believed she was living against God’s will. Hearing what Dr King said made her and Daddy feel better. It seemed to bring them even closer. I think they didn’t feel so bad about their lifestyle after that, because every African-American person respected Dr King to the highest.
***
In 1968, Mommy got very sick. She and Daddy never talked to me about what her illness was, but eventually it became clear it was terminal. Daddy quit the Jewel Box in September 1969 to become Mommy’s full-time caregiver. He was at her every beck and call. Mommy died in 1970, in the fall, I believe. My biological mother died on 10 December 1970, and I know Mommy died not long before that.
And this brings me to Stonewall. People ask me all the time, “Was Stormé there? Did Stormé throw the first punch?” I don’t want to offend anyone, but I didn’t see Daddy there. I didn’t feel welcome at the Stonewall club or go too often, but I put on an extra nice dress and went that night because I was invited to Yvonne Ritter’s birthday party. I was arrested for breaking the masquerading law. I saw the other people who were taken to the police station, and Daddy wasn’t one of them. During the months I was in jail or Bellevue Hospital, Daddy called me every day or two; Mommy wouldn’t let him visit because he could have been arrested, too, under the masquerading law. Over all that time, he didn’t say one word about resisting at Stonewall. I stayed in New York for several more years, and during that whole time, too, Daddy never said anything to me about being at Stonewall.
I realise that starting in the 1990s, Daddy gave interviews about punching a cop outside the Stonewall during the rebellion. Sometimes he said he knocked the cop unconscious. I have my suspicions about why he started that. Now, I did once see him shove a cop in Harlem who called us queers as he, Mommy, and I approached a gay club. He got arrested and Mommy had to bail him out. I think it was a Puerto Rican cop, it wasn’t any white man. And I once saw Daddy punch a man who was flirting with Mommy at a club and started disrespecting her. He was a tough guy. But he was no fool. Can you imagine what would happen to a Black person who hit a white cop in 1969? When I told that story to my cousins, they fell out laughing. Think about it! Use common sense! Daddy would have been beat down. There’s no way he would have taken that chance with Mommy sick at home.
I feel in my gut and heart that Daddy wasn’t walking by a nightclub at two in the morning in June 1969. Mommy was very sick, and I think he was home with her. He was afraid to even leave her side around that time. He was afraid he was going to lose her.
When Mommy did die, Daddy was devastated. He went through a long period of terrible depression. I don’t think he was ever quite right again. After I left New York, I kept in touch with him into the 1980s. We’d talk on the phone or I’d see him when I came back to visit. We would talk about Mommy – she was most of our conversation. He missed her terribly. I don’t know of Daddy even thinking about another woman seriously. He carried Mommy’s picture in his wallet for the rest of his life.
No photo seems to survive of Stormé and Debbie together, so their Christmas stockings will have to stand in. Original held in the Photographs and Prints Division at Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, The New York Public Library.
Even though they were quiet about their relationship, Stormé and Diana were proud of it. They considered themselves husband and wife. And they taught me to be proud of myself. They were so loving to me and to each other. They respected each other. I’m lucky I had them as my parents when I was in New York, and I’m very happy to speak for them. I loved them dearly, and I miss them every single day.
Footsteps: A Boy’s Journey From A Highland Hotel
By Alastair Barnett
A wartime evacuee grows up in the Scottish Highlands – and begins to confront who he truly is.
Evacuated from Glasgow in 1939, during the Second World War, a young boy is sent to the shores of Loch Tay in the Scottish Highlands – and into a life he could never have imagined.
In the summer of 1952, barely fifteen, he takes his first job at a small Highland hotel. Between polished shoes, clattering trays and demanding guests, he learns the discipline of service and glimpses a world far beyond his village upbringing. Celebrities pass through. Eccentric characters leave their mark. Behind the old stone walls, humour, hardship and the occasional ghostly whisper shape a season he will never forget.
But beneath the bustle lies something far more personal. As he comes of age in conservative post-war Scotland, he begins to confront his emerging sexuality in a society that would not accept him. His awakening unfolds quietly – through secrecy, longing and the careful negotiation of a world where such truths were dangerous to name.
Footsteps: A Boy’s Journey From a Highland Hotel is a candid memoir of youth, work and identity in mid-century Perthshire – a story of resilience, belonging and the courage to become oneself.
The author, Alastair Barnett, is approaching ninety. With his partner Jack they shared sixty-eight years together, living quietly and without fanfare. Sadly, Jack died in January 2023. This story is only one of many lives lived quietly through decades of enormous social change.
Alastair BarnettJack, Kodi and Alastair
Footsteps: A Boy’s Journey from a Highland Hotel
Amazon / 184 pages / £8.20
Open Eye Gallery Commissions
You may recall that Out In The City member, Helen Constantinou, has been awarded two commissions by Open Eye Gallery in Liverpool. Both commissions involve the creation of a single image relating to the historic anti-Section 28 marches that took place in 1988.
The image will be further enhanced by the inclusion of the recorded memories of those who marched against Section 28. The image and the recordings are scheduled to be shown in the Gallery on 18 September and running until 1 November.
If anyone wants to contribute their experiences of the Section 28 marches, please contact Helen by email as soon as possible: constantimagery@gmail.com
Participants will be asked to complete a consent form for their submission to be exhibited.
