Leading the cast is Hannah Azuonye as Laura and Baker Mukasa as Alec
“Brief Encounter” at Royal Exchange Theatre
David Lean’s 1945 film Brief Encounter is a true silver screen classic, with Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard immortalising Noël Coward’s story of hopeless love. The Royal Exchange invites us to enjoy a different take on the original with their latest production.
For those who have not seen the film, Brief Encounter sees Laura and Alec randomly meet in a railway refreshment room when she has a speck of coal in her eye and he, a GP, offers to remove it. They happen to meet again the following week, and the week after … until their liaisons are planned, secretive, and elegantly awkward. Both married with children, this is an affair destined to fail.
2023 marks the 50th anniversary of Noël Coward’s death and this production sprinkles Coward’s text with his songs and music, played by the on-stage jazz band; sung by the talented cast. More a play with music than full-blown musical, this adds an extra layer of quality to Sarah Frankcom’s slick direction. Franckom successfully intertwines the main love story with the burgeoning relationships between railway and tearoom staff – I’d love to know what Ms Bagot is putting in the tea! Rose Revitt’s stylish staging offers a sumptuous tearoom with hidden tracks, and a stunning opening to Act 2, an absolute highlight of the production.
Baker Mukasa (Alec) and Hannah Azuonye (Laura) perfectly capture the era with their cut-glass accents and impeccable manners and offer characters that we genuinely care about. The remaining cast of five build out the story and subplots. Christina Modestou, overseeing business in her tearoom (and back room!), could have fallen straight out of a Victoria Wood sketch; and Georgia Frost is hilarious as the innocently sweet Stanley wooing his first love Beryl.
Brief Encounter offers love that is innocent, love that is illicit, and a bit of hanky-panky to boot. The added songs pull at the heart strings one minute, then get us clapping along the next. As Laura and Alec’s final farewell is snapped way from them, we empathise with Laura’s loss and ultimate acceptance of a life less exciting as she falls back into her family routine, knowing she is loved dearly by her faithful (and potentially knowing) husband. And what better way to end the show with a jig or two with her man, and the rest of the cast, soaking up the rapturous applause.
This encounter may be brief, but will be remembered long after the lights go down.
Two Gay Grandpas
The Arizona-based gay couple behind the YouTube channel “Two Gay Grandpas Travel” have been together for 44 years and married for 15 years.
Grandpa Scott and his husband Grandpa Bobby are two gay grandpas who enjoy travelling, experiencing new cultures, meeting new people and enjoying life to the fullest.
As two gay grandpas, they get asked a lot of questions by folks when they travel. So are they brave enough to answer the top 10 questions people ask them on their travels?
Check out this video to find out just how brave they are. From the basics (their favourite travel spots, how do they plan their travels) to the more personal (their relationship), they are ready to reveal all.
Trade Unions and LGBT+ Rights: Past Victories, Future Challenges
A discussion on the past and future of the unions role in LGBT+ equality.
Working Class Movement Library, 51 Crescent, Salford M5 4WX
Saturday, 17 February 2024 – 2.00pm – 3:30pm – Free
From the first strike action organised by trade union members to save the job of a victimised gay colleague in the 1970s, through the mutual solidarity of Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners, trade unions have contributed immensely to the successes achieved for LGBT+ equality in Britain. Join Peter Purton and Meg Birchall for a talk that celebrates the past victories for LGBT+ rights in Britain, the significant challenges that LGBT+ people face today and what the trade union movement can do to support and empower its LGBT+ members.
Peter Purton began campaigning for LGBT+ equality in the 1970s, participating in all the struggles of those years. Believing that winning the active support of the Labour Movement was vital to achieving both legal and social progress, he played a leading part in the work of the Labour Campaign for Lesbian and Gay Rights (now LGBTLabour) to secure Labour Party support in the 1980s and 1990s. In 1998 he started work as the first LGBT officer for the TUC (Trades Union Congress) and helped secure the successive laws that culminated in the Equality Act (2010). On retirement (2016) he wrote ‘Champions of Equality. Trade Unions and LGBT rights in Britain‘ (Lawrence & Wishart 2018), and has been warning for many years against complacency in the LGBT+ communities because rights that have been gained can also be lost.
Meg Birchall (they/them) is a councillor for Delph & Denshaw on Saddleworth Parish Council and one of the first transgender councillors in Greater Manchester. They are an activist for trans rights within the labour movement and a member of the Labour for Trans Rights Secretariat.
Note for Attendees
Our events space has a ramp on entry, an accessible toilet and air purifier. If you have any access requirements then please let us know in advance of the event so we can make your visit as comfortable as we can. The history of the groups, campaigns and individuals who make up our collection at the Working Class Movement Library has a wide range of positions and the Library is committed to ensuring that this range is available for people to explore for themselves. Although respectful debate is encouraged, we will not tolerate sexism, homophobia, racism, transphobia, nor oppressive language or behaviour based on any structural inequality, including disability, socio-economic status, sexuality, age, education, religious affiliation, or gender expression. All who use our space, both the physical Library and its virtual spaces, share responsibility for maintaining it as a safe and welcoming one.
For the first trip of 2024 we visited Manchester Art Gallery for a guided tour.
The tour lasted just one hour but our guide, Lindsay, brought us detailed information and many insights into the building itself and some of the Pre-Raphaelite works of international significance.
Manchester Art Gallery is a publicly owned art museum on Mosley Street in Manchester city centre. The main gallery premises were built for a learned society in 1823 and today its collection occupies three connected buildings, two of which were designed by Sir Charles Barry. Both of Barry’s buildings are listed. The building that links them was designed by Hopkins Architects following an architectural design competition. It opened in 2002 following a major renovation and expansion project undertaken by the art gallery.
Lindsay showed us her great knowledge, enthusiasm and passion as we viewed paintings from the Pre-Raphaelite collection. My favourites were “The Scapegoat” and “The Shadow of Death” both by William Holman Hunt.
We also saw the dress collection and learnt that half of Dutch still life paintings feature a lemon!
Reconstruction by Cheddar Gorgeous of “Eve Tempted” by John Spencer Stanhope
Great Places Housing Group has launched a public consultation on its proposals for a plan to create the UK’s first purpose-built and co-produced majority LGBTQ+ Extra Care housing scheme in Whalley Range, south Manchester.
The south Manchester-based housing association with extensive experience of designing, developing, and managing a wide variety of affordable general needs, supported and specialist housing is seeking views from the local community ahead of a planning application submission for the proposed scheme.
The development is planned for the site of the former Spire Hospital in Russell Road, Whalley Range, which was demolished in 2019 and the brownfield site has since remained vacant.
The proposals for the majority Extra Care housing scheme have been developed with the input of the Russell Road Community Steering Group, Manchester City Council and LGBT Foundation. The planned scheme will deliver 80 one- and two-bedroom social rented apartments for older people in a brick building of four to five storeys. The low-carbon scheme will include shared facilities, lounges and treatment rooms and landscaped gardens which will look to ensure an overall net gain of trees on the site.
Extra Care housing developments look to increase the affordable housing opportunities for older people to move into high quality accommodation, with flexible care and support services available to meet changing needs encouraging independent living. The residents will be required to be aged 55 years or over, with the majority of residents being members of the LGBTQ+ community from Manchester. Living alongside allies and other members of the local community, the aim is to provide an open and inclusive, physical and psychological place of safety for the older LGBTQ+ community and a welcome addition to the Whalley range area.
The site will also include a neighbouring separate shared ownership block consisting of around 40 apartments, a mix of 1 and 2 bed apartments, delivering affordable homes to first time buyers and eligible customers, helping to address emerging affordability issues in places such as Whalley Range.
Residents will be able to see the plans and give their views at public consultation meetings at the site on Russell Road on Friday 12 January from 2.00pm to 8.00pm and Saturday 13 January from 12.00 noon to 2.00pm.
Commenting on the launch of the consultation Helen Spencer, Executive Director of Growth at Great Places, said:
“We are delighted to launch our public consultation for this exciting and innovative project, which aims to create the UK’s first purpose-built and co-produced LGBTQ+ Extra Care housing scheme in Whalley Range.
Russell Road will provide high-quality, affordable, and inclusive homes for older people who identify as LGBT+ or allies, as well as shared ownership opportunities for local residents. We believe this scheme will not only meet the specific needs and aspirations of the LGBT+ community, but also enhance the diversity and vibrancy of Whalley Range as a neighbourhood.
We look forward to hearing the views of the local community and working with our partners, Manchester City Council and LGBT Foundation, to make this vision a reality.”
Cllr Gavin White, Manchester City Council’s executive member for housing and development, said:
“This is landmark development for Manchester’s LGBTQ+ community and there has been a lot of interest in this development already. We know there is a gap in the market for affordable housing for older people where care needs are met onsite – and where they can feel accepted and live with dignity.
Critical to this project has been the co-production process with our community steering group that have helped guide the design principles for these homes to ensure they meet the needs of future residents.
Now it’s the time to present the proposals to the wider community – and I’d urge as many people as possible to take a look and give us their thoughts. This feedback really does help ensure developments like this complement and enhance our neighbourhoods.”
Paul Martin, CEO at LGBT Foundation, said:
“LGBT Foundation is proud to have been involved in the development of the LGBT+ majority Extra Care housing scheme in Whalley Range since it was proposed some years ago. The views of the local community are key to making this development a success and we encourage people to use their voice to help shape the future of this landmark project, to ensure it offers a safe and welcoming home for older LGBT+ people.”
Key LGBT+ anniversaries to remember in 2024
We look ahead to 2024 and the major LGBT+ anniversaries that will take place in the next 12 months.
These include dates marking world-changing firsts, the launch of leading LGBT+ charities, key political moments and the death of an LGBT+ trailblazer.
10th Anniversary
29 March: Same-sex marriages officially started in England and Wales on this date in 2014, under the 2013 Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act.
16-23 September: The first Bisexual Awareness Week, also known as Bi Week, took place in 2014 and is now held every year to celebrate bisexual identities, as well as raising awareness about the stigma bi people continue to face.
16 December: On this date 10 years ago, Scotland caught up with England and Wales, legalising same-sex marriage.
20th Anniversary
17 May: On this date in 2004, the first legal same-sex marriages in the United States took place in Massachusetts. Marcia Hams and Susan Shepherd were the first gay couple to be given a legal marriage licence in the state, commenting on the 10th anniversary of the day in 2014 that it was “the beginning of that feeling that we could talk naturally about our relationship as heterosexual couples do and really have that mean something to the people that we were talking to”.
Marcia Hams & Susan Shepherd
30th Anniversary
April:DIVA, the world’s leading magazine for lesbian and bisexual women, published its first edition during this month in 1994. It remains an agenda-setting publication which founded Lesbian Visibility Week and has featured cover stars including actors Ellen DeGeneres, Samira Wiley and Sarah Paulson.
May: The first issue of gay men’s magazine Attitude hit the shelves in this month in 1994. Since then, the magazine has featured a host of famous faces on its cover, including Boy George, Madonna, Tony Blair and even Prince William – the first British royal to front a gay publication.
40th Anniversary
April: In 1984, gay media brand Gay Times was established when its first edition was published, alongside its parent title HIM. During its 40-year history stars such as singer Arlo Parks, Cabaret star Liza Minnelli and Graham Norton have graced the cover.
25 June: On this date in 1984, famed French philosopher Michel Foucault died of an Aids-related illness in Paris. His ideas about knowledge and power, sexuality and subjectivity deeply influenced a number of fields and are still cited today.
November: “Good afternoon, I’m Chris Smith. I’m the Labour MP for Islington South and Finsbury and I’m gay.” Now Baron Smith of Finsbury, speaking at a rally in Rugby, Warwickshire, after the Tory town council had U-turned on a policy which outlawed employment discrimination on the grounds of sexuality, he became the first openly gay male British member of parliament. He went on to be the first gay Cabinet minister in political history – a post now called culture secretary – and, shortly before standing down at the 2005 general election, the first MP to reveal he was HIV-positive.
50th Anniversary
4March: In 1974, LGBT+ Switchboard opened its lines for the first time. During the course of its 50 years, the charity has supported people with coming out, finding gay bars, seeking health support, how to report hate crimes and anything and everything in between.
Gay Pride Parade, Strand, London 30 June 1979 with Metropolitan Police escort. (Photo by: Bob Battersby / Eye Ubiquitous / Universal Images Group via Getty Images)
2 April: Kathy Kozachenko made history by becoming the first openly gay person to successfully run for office when she was elected to the Ann Arbor City Council in Michigan. Just 21 at the time, she ran on Human Rights Party ticket, winning her seat by 52 votes. Speaking to NBC News in 2020, she said not a “lot of people know about me” because they often attribute the title of first out elected official to Harvey Milk.
100th Anniversary
24December: In 1924, the state of Illinois granted the charter for a non-profit organisation called the Society for Human Rights, making it the first gay rights organisation in the United States. A few months after its foundation, the group folded after its members were arrested. Despite the short lifespan, it was a precursor to the gay rights movement to come.
105th Anniversary
6 July: It’s 105 years since Magnus Hirschfield purchased a Berlin villa in 1919 and opened the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (the Institute for Sexual Research). Hirschfeld’s study of sexual intermediaries was no trend or fad; instead it was a recognition that people may be born with a nature contrary to their assigned gender. And in cases where the desire to live as the opposite sex was strong, he thought science ought to provide a means of transition. By 1930 it would perform the first modern gender-affirmation surgeries in the world.
Magnus Hirschfield
How we met after 60: ‘He is the first person in my life who has really taken care of me’
Sterling, 83, and Berkeley, 76, met at a support group for gay men in 2012. After realising they had a lot in common they fell ‘head over heels’ and now live together in Talent, Oregon.
‘We had a shared understanding’ … Sterling (right) and Berkeley
After losing his job as a classical music buyer in 2008, Sterling struggled to get back on track. Four years later, he found himself homeless and staying with a friend in San Francisco. Unable to get a full-time job, he worked at a small Buddhist bookshop, where he was paid a weekly stipend.
“I’d turned to Buddhism in my early 60s to help me clear some emotional challenges I’d struggled with in the past,” he says. “By 2012, I had also started writing and was working on a fantasy novel. While searching for writers’ groups, I spotted a support group for gay men. I had no expectations but I thought I’d give it a shot.”
As soon as he walked in, he spotted Berkeley. “He was very attractive. A little voice in my head said: ‘You could do worse than that.’” Over the course of the meeting, Sterling discovered that Berkeley usually dated younger men. “I assumed I was too old and dismissed any possibility that something could happen.”
But Berkeley, who had volunteered to manage the group, was immediately taken with Sterling. “My former partner had died, and I was living alone after moving from Hawaii to California,” he says. “As soon as I met Sterling, I got a very strong, energetic hit from him.”
Sterling and Berkeley in Oregon in 2016
After two meetings, Berkeley invited Sterling out for coffee, much to Sterling’s surprise. “We had a tremendously good time,” says Berkeley. “Both of us have had the experience of scaring people off, because we have strong personalities and are not afraid to express an opinion. But these qualities made us more attractive to each other and meant we had a shared understanding.”
Their first date lasted six hours and Berkeley was amazed by how much they had in common. “We had both lost work in the financial crisis and we’d both had very difficult upbringings, which we had worked through in therapy,” he says. “We also both realised we were gay in the 1960s, which wasn’t easy. It was a time where everyone was free and hippy, unless you were gay or a woman. I never even told my parents.”
After their coffee date, they began going out for regular lunches and dinners. A month later, Sterling admits he was “head over heels”. They moved into Berkeley’s apartment, which they say was the “ultimate test”. “I remember we built some furniture. Usually it’s like an ego contest between two men but we worked together, smooth as silk,” says Sterling.
When rents began to rise rapidly in San Francisco in 2014, they moved to Talent in southern Oregon, where they were able to buy a home together. “We qualified for a mortgage programme as we are both military veterans,” says Berkeley. “It meant we didn’t need a down payment and we were able to retire on our pensions.”
Due to their status as veterans they were also entitled to health coverage, which saved Sterling’s life in 2020. “I caught a rare virus from gardening in October of that year and it wreaked havoc on my immune system,” he says. “I was very unwell and had to have a pacemaker put in. I couldn’t imagine being better cared for while that was happening. Berkeley is the first person in my life who has really taken care of me; I’d never experienced anything like that before.”
Berkeley loves the way they communicate as a couple. “Whenever we have a bump, we just take time out so nothing ever builds up,” he says. “Sterling is also really fun and very artistic.”
Sterling appreciates his partner’s kindness. “Berkeley is naturally compassionate, warm and giving. I have never seen him be mean or cruel to anyone,” he says. “Before we met, I felt like I had made a lot of bad decisions and I had spent time repairing emotional damage from my past. When Berkeley came on the scene, I felt ready to love and I feel lucky to have met him.”
Matt Cain, born in Bury and brought up in Bolton, is an author and leading commentator on LGBT+ issues. He has written a number of books including “The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle” which includes interviews with Out In The City members.
When Kenneth Felts began work on a memoir at age 90, he found himself filled with regrets over a secret gay love affair. So he came out – privately and publicly – which inspired Johnny Hau to do the same.
Isolated and battling Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2020, Kenneth Felts, right, found himself reconciling with the past. Johnny Hau, left, was struggling intensely to come out. A viral Facebook post brought them together. Credit … Coltin Wilde
A decade ago, Johnny Javier Hau Dzib took a nighttime drive around his Denver neighbourhood, his mind in a suicidal thought loop.
Several years later, Kenneth Wayne Felts was at home alone in nearby Arvada, Colorado, contemplating death by a different means. Chemotherapy for a Hodgkin’s lymphoma diagnosis was robbing him of life’s pleasures. “I thought, I’m 90 years old,” Mr Felts said. “Am I going to live the rest of my life this way?” In March 2020, after four months of chemotherapy, he voluntarily ended his treatments.
When the two men met later that year, both were in better places psychologically. Mr Felts, a Navy veteran who served in the Korean War, had recently come out as gay. Mr Hau, an IT specialist for Denver Public Schools, hoped to follow his lead.
Mr Hau is 34. Mr Felts is now 93. He was born in the dust bowl town of Dodge City, Kansas, one year into the Great Depression in 1930. His parents, Clyde and Ruth Felts, were devout Christians. A youth spent in fundamental Christian churches caused him profound guilt over two secret romances with male schoolmates before he graduated high school in 1948.
In 1950, he enlisted in the Navy despite never having seen the ocean. It was long before the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” He recalled several men he served with being court-martialled for their homosexuality. To avoid the same fate, he said, “it was important not to even associate with other gay people.”
In 1957, when he took a job as an insurance investigator in Long Beach, California, after graduating from the University of Kansas with a bachelor’s degree in social sciences two years earlier, he adopted the persona of a straight man.
During that time, however, he had a secret love affair with a male colleague named Phillip Jones, who also attended the local Church of God with Mr Felts. “He was in the choir, and I was in the pews,” Mr Felts said.
Mr Jones was able to square his sexuality with church doctrine; Mr Felts was not. One Sunday, he said, “out of the blue, I was bombarded with guilt. I knew I was going to go to hell, that I would burn in fire for eternity.” Overcome with shame, Mr Felts left California in 1958 and returned to Dodge City. He never said goodbye to Mr Jones, though Mr Felts was sure by then he was the love of his life.
Over the years, Mr Felts would intermittently search for Mr Jones in every California phone book he could get his hands on. “I called every Phillip Jones and every P Jones I could find,” he said. The search was never successful.
Mr Felts continued to present as a straight man. In 1962, while living in Colorado Springs and working for the state as a rehabilitation counsellor for the mentally and physically disabled (from which he retired in the mid-’90s), he married Mary Guinn, a schoolteacher. In 1973, their daughter, Rebecca Mayes, was born. The marriage didn’t last – they divorced in 1980 – but Mr Felts’s commitment to appearing straight did. His resolve didn’t soften even when Ms Mayes came out to her parents in the mid-1990s.
“‘It won’t last six months,’” was the first thing Ms Mayes recalled her father saying when she told him she was gay. She and her then-girlfriend, Tracie Mayes, treated his prediction as a challenge. In 1999, they were married. The couple are now the parents of Mr Felts’s grandchildren, an 18-year-old boy and 14-year-old girl, and the family lives near Mr Felts in Arvada. (Ms Guinn died in 2022.)
Mr Felts and Mr Hau met in person on 20 October 2020 to talk about their sexuality, and the trauma of hiding it. Credit … Tracie Mayes
To occupy himself during the early months of the pandemic, Mr Felts started writing a memoir. “I got to the point where I started writing about Phillip,” he said. The memory sent him down a rabbit hole of regret. So he told Ms Mayes about the relationship, essentially coming out. “He doesn’t open up much, but he was obviously very sad,” she said.
Ms Mayes handled the news of her father’s sexuality differently than he handled hers decades earlier: She was happy for him. “I completely understood why it was so hard for him to come out, given the time he grew up in,” she said.
Mr Felts was done with the secrecy and regret and ready to come out publicly, which he did with a Facebook post in June 2020. The story of the newly out 90-year-old went viral. “I started hearing from people from around the world who wanted to interview me,” Mr Felts said. “And each day I got new messages from people saying how much they appreciated me.”
One online acquaintance offered to help track down Mr Jones, only to learn he had died a few years earlier. Mr Felts was heartbroken. “It is so terribly frustrating to be so close to and yet not reach my lost love,” he wrote on Facebook. “My heart has turned to stone and I need my tears to wash away my sorrow. Rest in Peace Phillip.”
Another online admirer was Mr Hau. Like Mr Felts, Mr Hau was taught early that homosexuality is a sin. He grew up Catholic, the youngest of eight children born to Josefa Hau de Dzib and Nemesio Hau Poot, in Yucatán, Mexico. By the time the family moved to Colorado when he was 11, he knew he was gay.
“I tried to hide it,” he said. “I would ask myself, ‘What’s going on with me? Why am I this way?’” He was 27 before he kissed another man. He had made attempts at relationships, “but I just felt tremendous guilt creep in. The guilt told me to end it every time.”
College at the University of Colorado Denver, where he graduated with a bachelor’s degree in computer science in 2014, was a welcome distraction. But thoughts of suicide were a constant companion until the night he drove through his Denver neighbourhood in 2013 and met an older man who had immigrated from Japan years ago to work in mining.
The man had missed his bus. Mr Hau saw him crossing the street. “It was late,” Mr Hau said, so he offered him a ride. In return, the man offered him friendship.
Mr Hau’s friend, who died of leukemia in 2023 at the age of 90, became a mentor and father figure. He was also the first person Mr Hau said he came out to. The friend, who was not gay, “looked at me and said, ‘It’s OK. Be who you are.’”
Mr Hau struggled to do so until October 2020, when he got a response to a note of support he had sent Mr Felts via Facebook Messenger two months earlier. In it, Mr Felts included his phone number (Mr Hau said he lived locally and hoped they could speak someday). On 16 October 2020, the two met at Namiko’s sushi and Japanese restaurant in Denver to talk about their sexuality, and the trauma of hiding it.
Coming out three years earlier enabled Mr Felts to express himself in multiple ways, said his daughter, Rebecca Mayes. “He used to be such a conservative dresser. Now he wears the loudest stuff.” Credit … Tracie Mayes
They continued talking after the restaurant closed. In Mr Felts’s car, Mr Hau took Mr Felts’s hand. “Ken was just extremely supportive,” Mr Hau said. He helped Mr Hau past a second source of secrecy and shame. “I’ve always been attracted to older men,” he said. “And I always felt like, how will people react if I start a relationship with someone older? Perhaps the gay community will see it as odd.” Before he met Mr. Felts, “I looked online trying to find out, Is this normal?”
A first kiss at Mr Felts’s home the same night pushed him past that worry. “It was such a comfort,” Mr Hau said. By the end of October, Mr Hau, who had never before spent the night with a lover, was spending every weekend in Arvada with Mr Felts. In the summer of 2021, he moved in.
Talk of marriage, initiated by Mr Felts, started soon after. But the cost of legal fees for a prenuptial agreement slowed it. Then, the Supreme Court’s 2022 decision to overturn Roe vs Wade, with its implications for potentially disrupting gay marriage rights, rekindled those conversations.
On 20 May, Mr Hau asked Mr Felts to marry him in their living room. “I felt like, I had found this great guy, and the laws were changing, and it triggered this fear,” he said. “I really wanted to solidify the relationship, to make it legal.” Mr Felts, given a second chance at marriage, was fully at ease saying yes. “I love being with Johnny, and I love being loved,” he said.
On 8 July 2023, with a prenuptial agreement in place, Mr Felts and Mr Hau were married in a brief, informal ceremony in their backyard. (In Colorado, couples can legally marry without a formally registered officiant.) Jason Eaton-Lynch, a friend and the director of elder services at the Centre on Colfax, a Denver LGBTQ community centre, led the ceremony.
Mr Felts donned a pink jacket over a purple button down shirt; Mr Hau wore a tan jacket and blue button down. Their 20 guests, which included Ms Mayes and her family, dressed casually at the grooms’ request. (Mr Hau’s family was not present, but when he came out to them last year via text message, he said “they were very supportive.”) Before Mr Eaton-Lynch pronounced them married, Mr Felts read a poem he had written for Mr Hau.
“Near the end of my days and in the heat of my night, I found a great love, whom I shall ever hold tight,” he said. “We explore our new world with breathless delight.”
After the ceremony, the grooms cut a brightly frosted cake picked up from a nearby grocery store. Ms Mayes had organised a light lunch from a local sandwich shop. The couple skipped dancing to focus on mingling.
The cancer Mr Felts was being treated for before he met Mr Hau is “pretty well not there anymore,” he said, though he is still seeing his doctor and getting regular PET scans. The memoir he started writing during Covid, “My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90,” was self-published in 2022.
After the wedding, Ms Mayes said her father had never seemed happier. She had started thinking of Mr Hau as a member of the family well before. “We were suspicious of John for a while because of the age gap,” she said. “But just watching them together – John takes really good care of my dad. They continue to be just so happy.” Coming out three years earlier enabled Mr Felts to express himself in multiple ways, she said. “He used to be such a conservative dresser. Now he wears the loudest stuff.”
I’ve been in correspondence with Kenneth. This was his latest message: “Thank you. It has been a wonderful year. Johnny and I were married in July, took a honeymoon to Taos, New Mexico, and have been together for over 3 years now. He is IT Tech for Denver Public Schools and I miss him every day when he goes to work. Wish you a really great 2024. Thanks for writing.”
How we met after 60: ‘I could not have met anyone better. Life is so exciting now’
Norman, left, and Tony at Whalley Range Pride, 2022
As a teenager, Norman was very confused about his sexuality. “I thought I was gay because I fancied men, like pop stars. But later, I started to like girls as well,” he says. When his parents found out, he was sent to a psychiatrist for electro-convulsive therapy and aversion therapy, and although his feelings for men never went away, in 1972 he met and fell in love with Marilyn, the woman he would later marry. When she died in 2017, he was devastated. “We lived for each other and loved each other. I was totally lost because we’d done everything together.”
It wasn’t until two years later that Norman began to think about coming out as bisexual. “I’m a volunteer cultural champion at the Royal Exchange Theatre in Manchester,” he says. “A new coordinator organised a talk from the LGBT Foundation and they said they were looking for volunteers aged over 60 to make audio cassette tapes about what life was like in the 1950s and 60s for gay people.” Ever since he was young, Norman had wanted to be open about who he was, and it finally felt like the right time. “I just wanted the world to know I was bisexual,” he says.
Around the same time, a friend at the theatre introduced him to Out In The City, a support group for older LGBT+ people, which was supported by Age UK Manchester. He received a call from Tony, who was running the group, to explain more about what was involved. “I wanted to meet like-minded people, so I went along and immediately felt very relaxed and at home,” he says. “It was such a friendly group.”
Tony, who also lives in Manchester, says Norman seemed very sociable. “I wasn’t immediately attracted to him but he was easy to talk to. We got on straight away.” Not long after he joined, the meetings paused for the pandemic. “It was a terrible time for me and I felt very isolated,” says Tony. “In the summer, Age UK advised us to start meetings again, subject to some restrictions, so we sat in this huge circle, 2 metres apart from one another.” It was then Norman and Tony began spending more time together and they discovered they had a lot in common.
Although Tony had known he was gay from a young age, he had also faced backlash and was sent to a psychiatrist. “I was ostracised by my family, except for my sister, but then I met Phillip and we lived together for 31 years,” he says. Ever since 2011, when his partner died from pancreatic cancer, Tony had been comfortable with his single life, but by the end of 2021, he realised he wanted something more than friendship with Norman.
Norman and Tony in February 2022
“I invited him to the cinema and, on the way back to the station, I told him I had feelings for him,” says Tony. Norman admits he was in shock – he’d never had a relationship with a man. “It really threw me, so I asked if we could be friends.”
Over Christmas, Tony went to stay with his sister in Slovakia. They texted each other every day and Norman soon realised he was waiting for Tony’s message to arrive. “It dawned on me that I must like him,” he says. “We met up and I told him I wanted to give it a try, but that he’d need to give me time. He told me to take as long as I wanted.”
The pair have been a couple ever since. Now retired, they go to lots of Out In The City events together, as well as the cinema and various art classes. “We’ve tried ceramics, and go to lots of exhibitions,” says Tony. “I love his sense of humour. He’s always telling corny jokes but we laugh a lot. We have so much fun and really enjoy each other’s company.”
Norman appreciates his partner’s patience and compassion. “He’s so caring. He’s always there for me to talk to and he’s so understanding. I could not have met anyone better. Life for me is so exciting now.”
It is with great sadness that we have to report the death of Chris Connell.
Chris was a long time member of Out In The City but had not attended for some time due to illness. I last spoke to him at the end of March, when he informed me that he was recovering from cancer and was looking forward to getting back involved with the group hopefully within a couple of months.
We have only just discovered that he died in May 2023. His sister, Brigit Forsyth, best known for her acting role as Thelma Ferris in the BBC comedy Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? died on 1 December 2023.
There’s always so much to do at this time of year – but what can really help is to write a well-defined To Do list of what you might realistically achieve in your day.
Here’s Brian Bilston’s list:
Christmas To Do List
delay, defer, equivocate
make some tea, procrastinate
look at phone, stroke the cat
readjust the thermostat
dawdle, dither, hem and haw
eat mince pie, chew my jaw
write a card, spin on chair
play six games of solitaire
take a break make a brew
review my list of things to do
eat mince pie, paper scrunch
stroke the cat, have some lunch
prioritise new tasks to shirk
(more cups of tea + less housework)
look at phone, spin on chair
eat mince pie, loiter, stare
consider shopping, have quick doze,
rest mince pie on bridge of nose
stroke the cat, take a break
write a card, eat some cake
spin phone, mince cat, stroke tea, wallow
write To Do list for tomorrow
Drinks in the Gay Village
We celebrated the season with drinks at Via on Canal Street in the Gay Village. Some photos can be seen here.
The last meeting this year is on 21 December 2023 at Cross Street Chapel from 2.00pm to 4.00pm.
We ho-ho-hope that you have a great Christmas and New Year. We are taking a short break.
The next meeting is on Wednesday, 3 January 2024 at Manchester Central Library from 2.00pm to 4.00pm.
Towards the end of each year Out In The City holds a party. This year it was on 14 December, and a great time was had by all.
Thanks to Lynn and Norman who hosted the event, Patrick who read a comical poem, and the “new look” Wolf who performed and even Elvis who paid a visit.
Thanks also to the volunteers Jim and Stephen, who ensured the day ran smoothly.
Unsung Heroes – Older Male Activists (You Might Not Know)
Mark Rees
Mark Rees (6 December 1942 – 26 July 2023) was a trans man who underwent gender reassignment in the early 1970s. A teacher, activist and author, Mark was committed to living authentically as the person he knew himself to be and fought for the rights of people like himself to respect and equality.
He co-founded Press For Change, a campaign group focusing on the rights and treatment of trans people, which obtained the Gender Recognition Act.
He wrote articles for publication in small local and some national magazines, and his autobiography “Dear Sir or Madam” an extremely frank and honest account of his life and struggles – still recognisable experiences for many trans people today – was first published in 1996.
Jamison Green
Jamison “James” Green (born 8 November 1948) is a prominent transgender rights activist, author, and educator focused on policy work.
Green began living openly as a trans man in the late 1980s and is considered one of the few publicly open transgender men of that time. He started to advocate for the legal protection of transgender workers in 1989 and since then has served on multiple boards, including the Transgender Law and Policy Institute. In 2004, Green authored the book Becoming a Visible Man, which won the Sylvia Rivera award.
Building on his experience as an activist, Green earned his PhD in Equalities Law from Manchester Metropolitan University in 2011.
Louis Graydon Sullivan
Louis Graydon Sullivan (16 June 1951 – 2 March 1991) was an American author and activist known for his work on behalf of trans men. He was perhaps the first transgender man to publicly identify as gay.
Sullivan was a pioneer of the grassroots female-to-male (FTM) movement and was instrumental in helping individuals obtain peer-support, counselling, endocrinological services and reconstructive surgery outside of gender dysphoria clinics.
He founded FTM International, one of the first organisations specifically for FTM individuals, and his activism and community work was a significant contributor to the rapid growth of the FTM community during the late 1980s. Sullivan died of AIDS-related complications on 2 March 1991.
Rupert Raj
Rupert Raj (born 1952) transitioned in 1971. He set up The Foundation for the Advancement of Canadian Transsexuals (FACT). In 1982 he created Metamorphosis the first international magazine for trans men. He has received a number of awards and continues to write and be active.
in 1999 to begin a support group in Toronto called the Trans-Men / FTM Peer-Support Group. Since then, Raj has been active as a psychotherapist, gender specialist, and trans-positive professional trainer.
Loren Rex Cameron
Loren Rex Cameron (13 March 1959 – 18 November 2022) was an American photographer, author and transgender activist. His work includes portraits and self-portraits consisting of transgender bodies, particularly trans men, in both clothed and nude form.
Cameron’s interest in photography coincided with the beginning of his transition from female to male, which he documented photographically. In 1993, Cameron began studying the basics of photography and started photographing the transgender community. He gave lectures on his work at universities, educational conferences and art institutes. By 1995, Cameron’s photographs had been shown in solo exhibitions in San Francisco, Minneapolis, and Los Angeles.
Shannon Minter
Shannon Price Minter (born 14 February 1961) is an American civil rights attorney and the legal director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco.
He began transitioning at age 35. Minter did not change his birth name after he started living as a trans man.
Minter gained national attention in the United States representing LGBT+ cases.
Kylar Broadus
Kylar William Broadus (born 28 August 1963) is an American attorney, entrepreneur, and trans rights activist. He transitioned in 1995 and founded the Trans People of Color Coalition in 2010. In 2012, he became the first trans person to testify in front of the United States Senate when he spoke in support of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.
He was a long-time professor of business law and workplace discrimination at Lincoln University, a historically black college.
Emanuele Crialese
Emanuele Crialese (born 26 July 1965) is an actor and film director. He came out in 2022 as a trans man when he made the autobiographical film “L’Immensità”, about the relationship between a trans boy and his mother in the 1970s. Crialese said the film was inspired by his own experiences.
Out in the City 