Thursday, 25 January, 5.30pm – 7.00pm – Women’s Meeting at Cross Street Chapel, 29 Cross Street, Manchester M2 1NL

Lizzie and Sarah will host the meeting and there will be light refreshments. This is the first of a series of meetings to be held on the last Thursday each month (also 29 February and 28 March), and there is no need to book.

These are additional meetings to our regular weekly meetings.

How we met: ‘When she walked past me it was like being covered in a soft blanket’

Shoba, 70, and Hania, 68, met in 1989 at a silent meditation retreat in Massachusetts. Their first date lasted three days and, now retired, they live together in Portugal.

After living in India with a Hare Krishna community, Hania didn’t know what to expect from a conventional lifestyle when she moved to western Massachusetts in the late 80s. “I’ve always been interested in spirituality, but after a long time travelling and living away, I wanted to explore life at home while working as a political fundraiser,” she says. In the autumn of 1989, she decided to take a break and go on a 10-day silent meditation retreat near her home.

It was there that she first set eyes on Shoba. “I was living in Boston and working for an engineering firm,” says Shoba. “I was just learning to meditate, but I’d never done 10 days in silence before. I saw Hania on the first day and remember thinking, ‘She’s done this a lot.’” As the days passed, they noticed that they got up at the same time for meditation practice and their schedules were in sync.

In the evening, they attended lectures. “I noticed that Shoba would laugh out loud, which people never usually did, but I loved that. I saw her sitting on the grass one day and I thought, ‘I’m going to travel across the country with that woman.’”

Towards the end of the retreat, Shoba was starting to yearn for the real world, “but then Hania walked past me and it was like the softest blanket went over me,” she says.

At the end of their stay, they were finally able to speak to each other. “We asked each other where we lived and what we did,” says Hania. “We asked questions about each other’s lives and found out pretty quickly that we both liked women.” Sensing their shared connection, Shoba asked Hania to go on a date. A few days later, they went to watch a movie near Hania’s home, which turned into a three-day date. “Nothing happened between us then, because I wanted to wait until we fell in love,” says Shoba.

Hania admits she wasn’t sure if she was ready for a serious relationship. “Shoba wasn’t vegetarian then, and that was an issue for me. I was a bit of a fanatic at that point,” she laughs.

But over the next few weeks they stayed in touch, having long calls before work every morning. “Our connection just got stronger and stronger,” says Hania. Shoba came to visit again, and this time Hania knew she was “the one”. “She kissed me on the cheek and electricity went through me.”

In 1990, they moved into an apartment together in western Massachusetts, and the following year they went to India together for seven months. “We did that every winter for the next nine years,” says Shoba. “I would work six-month contracts for engineering firms to pay for it and we would rent out our apartment to students.” Hania had various jobs as a teacher, carpenter and childminder.

In 1999, Shoba went to study acupuncture in Santa Barbara, California, supported by Hania. “She lacked confidence to start with, but I encouraged her to keep going because I knew she’d be amazing at it.” She practised in several places across the US, while Hania taught yoga. Last year, they retired and moved to Portugal together. “We live in Nazaré, which is famous for its huge waves, and we love going for walks on the beach,” says Hania. Although they celebrated their relationship with a ceremony on the banks of the Ganges in 1994, it wasn’t legally binding, so in 2022 they were married in Oregon.

Hania loves her partner’s tenderness and gentle demeanour. “There’s something about the way I love her that squeezes my heart. When she goes away, I miss her so much.”

Shoba appreciates Hania’s spirituality. “She really wants me to be as strong as she is in her spiritual studies. I love that she suggests books for me to read. She’s very funny and a great cook, and she has a sincere kindness.”

Sandi Toksvig reveals death threats forced her to have police at her wedding

Comedian, broadcaster, and activist Sandi Toksvig has opened up about how “ongoing” death threats have impacted her and her family over the years.

The QI presenter, who was recently invited to return to Cambridge University for a new fellowship, sat down with students to discuss her lifelong fight for gender equality and LGBTQ+ rights and revealed that her life has been threatened on numerous occasions because of her sexual orientation.

Toksvig told the Cambridge Union that there have been “ongoing” death threats made against her, forcing her to take extra precautions like going into hiding and having close protection police at her wedding.

She told the crowd that she first started getting death threats back in 1994 when she “did a completely unheard of thing” and told the press that she was in a relationship with a woman.

She and her partner at the time had decided to go public with their relationship because they had already welcomed three children together, Jesse, Megan, and Theo, and they “did not want [their] children growing up in the shadows of a secret.”

Toksvig recalled that there had been a front-page headline in the Daily Mail “the very next day”, that said: “If God had meant lesbians to have children, he would have made it possible”

The radio and TV star got a laugh from the audience when she pointed out that the headline made little sense since she and her partner already had three children so “clearly it was possible.” But, despite the failure in logic, Toksvig says the headline was enough to spark a pile-on of hate.

“The death threats started coming and the entire family had to go into hiding,” she said gravely.

Although the former Great British Bake Off presenter noted that “things have moved on” since then, Toksvig later told a student during a Q&A session that she still gets death threats.

“It’s not always easy. I don’t want to be too serious but I’ve had a lot of death threats,” she shared.

“My wife and I, when we got married, I had to have a close protection police officer beside me. It is still ongoing, but you can’t let that rule your life. This is who I am. I am not going to live in the shadows of anything.”

Sandi Toksvig joined a civil partnership with psychotherapist Debbie Toksvig back in 2007, and the couple renewed their vows to each other in 2014 when same-sex marriage was legalised in England and Wales.

In the past, Toksvig has spoken about how she was told she would “never work again” when she first came out as a lesbian.

But, despite what homophobes told her, she has had a wildly successful career, and is best known today as the first female presenter of a British mainstream TV comedy panel show after taking over from Steven Fry on QI, and for her stint on The Great British Bake-Off alongside Noel Fielding.

On the side, she has embarked on world tours with her comedy shows, written plays that have played at national theatres, and dozens of fiction and non-fiction books.

Over the years Toksvig has used her notoriety and influence to speak out in support of LGBT+ and women’s rights.