End of the Pride Season

We’ve had a busy weekend attending the first Withington Pride and the Bury Pride Rainbow Train.

First of all, thanks need to go out to Jas, Esme and Kit for organising Withington Pride which included events at various venues throughout Withington – the Baths, Old Moat Park, Public Hall and the Library. These included not only a parade, street party, sports day and poetry event, but also many more.

We thoroughly enjoyed it. After a brilliant Saturday, we were excited to join the Bury Pride Rainbow Train on Sunday!  

We experienced a trip on East Lancashire Railway’s Heritage Steam Engine whilst enjoying dazzling Pride performances at Bolton Street Station, Rawtenstall and then back at Bolton Street and the Trackside Pub in Bury.

We hopped on board the extraordinary Rainbow Express at the East Lancashire Railway in Bury. This incredible steam train hosted a dazzling event celebrating the LGBT+ community, filled with vibrant performances, exciting shows and inclusive events.

The performers included the Bury Fire Choir, Laura and the Lesbians, House of Bridget Queens and headline act Sharleen as Cher.

It was a journey that embraced love, acceptance and equality. More photos can be seen here.

New study throws light on the sex lives of gay men over 70

A new study has shown that older gay men tend to enjoy sex with more partners than their straight peers.

The study was prompted by last year’s mpox outbreak (formerly known as monkeypox). Researchers in the UK wanted to find out how our sex lives change so that they could better model how a virus, such as mpox, might spread.

The most common route of transmission for last year’s outbreak in the UK and US was gay sexual encounters.

Lead researcher Dr Julii Brainard, from the University of East Anglia’s Norwich Medical School, said: “Before this study, many models about sexually transmitted diseases assumed that everyone over a certain age — say 40 or 65 — stopped being sexually active, or at least stopped having multiple partners.

Or there might be an assumption that young people have the most sex. But the answer is more nuanced, and it partly depends on people’s sexuality.”

They surveyed 5,164 people including 1,036 men who have sex with men (MSM) who were recruited via social media.

People were asked how many sexual partners they had in the most recent three weeks as well as three months. They were also asked for their gender and sexual identity.

Seventy-seven MSM over 70 answered the survey. 17% reported having more than one recent sexual partner in the most recent three weeks. 25% of the MSM over 70 had multiple partners or “concurrent partners.”

Beth Chayim Chadashim is the first synagogue for LGBT+ Jews

Harriet Perl lived well into her 90s and died in 2013.

A life-long lesbian, Harriet had been a Los Angeles public high school teacher back in the day when that meant staying closeted or risking losing your job.

It affected every aspect of her life, from clothes to housing to social life – from bedroom arrangements (separate bedrooms or at least twin beds) to where and with whom to appear in public.

Although born Jewish, Harriet’s parents were secular and political. Harriet followed their lead until one Friday evening in the early 1970s when she timidly ventured into a Sabbath service in a new “gay shul” she had heard about.

A few steps into the door, she saw two of her students. She thought, Oh no. What are they doing here? I’ll be outed.

They, as it turned out, thought something similar until they all realised WHY they were really there — not to “out” others, but to be seen for who they are, and to be with others like them.

Harriet became a leader in that synagogue for decades, helping to create a community where lesbians and gay men could explore Judaism in a safe space (including creating liturgy in English with gender neutral language), work for changes in civil rights, and become family to one another.  

High Holy Days

It’s the time of High Holy Days on the Jewish calendar. Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year, and today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.

The month preceding is traditionally a time of self-reflection. Have we been living our lives as our true selves?

We seek to repair and make amends for mistakes we have made. We examine and act individually.

Then, on the High Holy Days, we come together in community to pray, to be inspired by beautiful music, and thoughtful teachings, and to plan together how the next year might unfold.

We consider two goals that Judaism requests from us: What changes will we make individually and as a community to become more our true selves and to make our world a better place?  

Beth Chayim Chadashim

Lisa Edwards was the Rabbi Emerita (retired rabbi) of that congregation that Harriet Perl stepped into all those years ago. Beth Chayim Chadashim (House of New Life), a synagogue in Los Angeles, was founded over 50 years ago, in 1972, to be a Jewish community for lesbian and gay Jews.

From the earliest days, they counted among their members and visitors lesbian, gay, bi and trans Jews, their families and friends.

While at first they set out primarily to be a safe haven for those who had been turned out or away from mainstream synagogues, Beth Chayim Chadashim soon grew into an activist congregation seeking to change minds and hearts both in the larger Jewish community where homophobia still prevailed, and in the gay and lesbian community where many – ostracised by religious communities and families – had turned away from religion altogether.

Founded in 1972

Mentored and encouraged by the Reverend Troy Perry, gay founder of Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), the small group of Beth Chayim Chadashim founders reached out to the Reform Movement of Judaism.

There, thanks to some staunch supporters within it, and NOT without controversy, in 1974, the congregational arm of Reform Judaism (UAHC) approved Beth Chayim Chadashim on the first round of voting, making the Reform Movement the first mainstream religious organisation to include a gay and lesbian congregation in its membership.

Fighting discrimination, HIV

Political activism went hand in hand with creating a Jewish congregation attentive to the Jewish calendar of holy days and life cycle events. Born Jews became more Jewish, people new to Judaism found a welcoming home. Together, they nurtured a community that battled homophobia in the outside world. 

A few years later, when HIV/AIDS began its devastation, Beth Chayim Chadashim was no stranger to illness and loss.  A significant number of members began living with, and then dying from, HIV/AIDS.

By then, Beth Chayim Chadashim, had hired its first ordained rabbi, Janet Marder, who tenderly and fiercely helped the congregation navigate the demands and stresses, and reached out to the larger Jewish communities for acknowledgement and help with the creation of NECHAMA, A Jewish Response to AIDS.

Within the congregation, people organised to take care of one another through illness and death. They buried peers and friends and lovers in those years, and worked to change attitudes and access to care. 

With help from Reform Movement leadership, Rabbi Marder and members of Beth Chayim Chadashim organised carefully structured sessions to talk face to face in people’s living rooms with members of mainstream synagogues, inviting them to get to know one another and ask questions.

Slowly, mainstream synagogue doors opened in welcome to LGBT+ visitors and members. Those mainstream synagogues also acknowledged the parents and children among them who had LGBT+ family members.

Supporting marriage equality

As the battle against AIDS abated with the development of life preserving drugs, new challenges were taken up. Beth Chayim Chadashim, and many other synagogues and churches and religious LGBT+ organisations, took on the goal of marriage equality. Their mourning became celebration as long-time couples (and new ones) chose a path that Harriet Perl never dreamed of.  Celebrations continued as more children came into the congregational family. 

Welcoming gay men and lesbians

Though the path has had more than a few stumbling blocks in the 51 years of Beth Chayim Chadashim’s existence, over the decades Jewish understanding and embrace of LGBT+ people has grown significantly.

Today, there are many queer students on the path to ordination, and queer rabbis and cantors serve congregations and teach in seminaries and other Jewish organisations all over the world.  Queer voices contribute significantly to the liturgy, ritual and theology of mainstream liberal Judaism.

At Beth Chayim Chadashim these days, they continue to be an affirming, nurturing, and brave Jewish space for LGBT+ people, their friends, and families.  Harriet Perl would have been proud.

How things have changed

In 45 years from 1978 to 2023:

1978	2023
Long hair	Longing for hair
8 Tracks	Cataracts
Streaking	Leaking
Acid Rock	Acid Reflux
Seeds and stems	Fibre
Stayin’ Alive (the song)	Stayin’ Alive (the goal)
Going to a new hip joint	Getting a new hip joint
Rolling Stones	Kidney Stones
Bell bottoms	Big bottoms
Disco	Costco
Whatever	Depends
Rock n’ Roll all night	Sleeping all night
Think you know everything	Think you know your name